First off, I just want to say, I hope you can handle my truth. Secondly, I wanted to let you know my previous offer still stands– especially since you took the first step in ditching Fed-Ex. I feel like we can work together and repair your image. Physically, you are looking great. I am very impressed with your new body, and I am happy that you feel comfortable about flaunting it. That is REALLLLLLY great, buuuut sometimes showing less skin is more–it leaves more to the imagination. Think about it, you have already done so much while wearing little to no clothing, so lets try something NEW like wearing fabulous, chic, & stylish clothing! I know it will be difficult for you, so that is why my offer to be your stylist and public relations point person still stands. I will even do it PRO BONO if necessary, because I care about you Britney. I mean lets face it, from the looks of this recent photo taken in NYC you desperately need my help, so PUHLEEASE consider my offer!
(Brit, call me! Together we’ll make sure this never happens again!)